Friday, May 18, 2012


I sifted through them so you don't have to...

For anyone outside Europe who doesn't know what Eurovision look it up, you will either love it or hate it...

I've watched Eurovision every year since I was tiny and I think it might have something to do with my obssession with Europe. Anyone knows me that this is my, not so secret, guilty pleasure so I thought I would share with you the best and worst of this years competition, whether you thank me or hate me for it at least these are pretty darn amusing!

The Good:

Lets start with something "nice", this years bookies favourite:
Loreen - Euphoria.

Fun fact: Euphoria has already spent three weeks topping the Swedish charts quickly surpassing Platinum status. Neighbouring Norway and Finland were quick to discover this uplifting future anthem and are currently also reporting no.1 positions.

As you may know I listen to foreign radio a lot and this has already been played on Norwegian radio for ages so expect douze points from Norway if not the rest of Scandinavia, not that that is that  big a surprise anyway. I am enjoying the bizarre Kate Bush thing going on as well as the really bizarre dance moves, such as the crab-like shuffling.

The favourite's competition:
Nina Zilli - L'Amore é Femmina (Out of Love)

Fun Fact: Nina comes from a small town in Val Trebbia which she left early on for Ireland, the US, anywhere her dreams would take her.

This is essentially Italian Amy Whinehouse, but you know as similar as a Eurovision entry can be to Amy Winehouse. She also has a fantastic name. 

Rose's MARRY ME NOW entry:
Roman Lob - Standing Still

Fun Fact: Roman Lob became famous only months ago, when he won the German talent show Unser Star Für Baku (Our Star for Baku)

Ich habe gerade geschmolzen... 

Catchiest song:
Jedward - Waterline

Fun Fact: Most of you will know these two are twins who were forced upon us thanks to X Factor but I bet you didn't know that since their entry last year Jedward returned to Ireland where they performed in front of an audience of 60,000 people at a concert to welcome US President Barack Obama to Ireland AND they came 3rd in the UK's Celebrity Big Brother; they released their second album, Bad Behaviour and completed a sell-out tour across Ireland, UK, Germany, Sweden, Estonia, Finland, and Austria.

I hate Jedward as much as the rest of you, but this is annoyingly catchy, just like their entry last year...

Entries I don't actually mind that much:
Greta Salóme &Jonsí - Never Forget

Fun Fact: This is Jónsi's second attempt at Eurovision after performing for Iceland with "Heaven" in Istanbul in 2004

These two have some pretty nice harmonies and it's got an alright arrangement with cellos, pianos and violins which is always a winner with me. Plus the woman sings and plays the violin which worked with Alexander Rybak...


Soluna Samay - Should've Known Better

Fun Fact: Soluna Samay started singing in the streets at the age of 6, helping her father out, making a living as he performed in streets and alleys all over the world. Her father taught her how to play the drums, the double bass and the guitar, and before the age of 10 Soluna was writing her first songs. Since then she has played, both on her own and together with her father, earning a living every summer.

It might be because this isn't doesn't sound like standard Eurovision or it's the fact she is dressed up in fancy military clothes, but I like this one. Plus she has a nice back story :)


Compact Disco - Sound of Our Hearts

Fun Fact:Compact Disco won by popular vote the MTV Europe Music Awards 2011 in “Best Local Act - Hungary” and received a nomination to the European selection for “Worldwide Act”.

These guys seem to be actually pretty good and are big in Hungary too, they are very much like the band Hurts from the UK. I like the video for this too, it's more than the usual Eurovision guff videos.

Entries I like even though I have no idea what they are saying:
Željko Joksimović "Nije Ljubav Stvar"
Fun Fact:  Željko Joksimović was runner up in the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest as a performer, took third and sixth places respectively as a composer in the 2006 and 2008 contests, as if that wasn't enough experience of Europe's Favourite TV Show, Željko Joksimović also co-hosted the 2008 contest in Belgrade

Serbia have gone for a different approach since Milan Stankovic( Worth looking at: and although the "hook" sounds just like "Paradise" by Coldplay this is pretty good for Eurovision standards even though I have no idea what he is raving on about. 


Ott Lepland - Kuula

Fun Fact: Ott was already well known in Estonia when he was still a child. He released four albums of children's songs and performed in the theatre, but left the limelight when he became a teenager and focussed on his studies of music. The result is here: he is one of the most respected vocalists in Estonia, an excellent pianist, and the author of some of the biggest radio hits of recent years.

Classic Eurovision ballad and "Kuula" means "ball" so make that what you will. However, the translated lyrics make it "Listen", which makes much more sense (

An unconventional Eurovision entry:
Max Jason Mai - Don't Close Your Eyes

Fun Fact:  Maz Jason Mai reveres all living beings, that’s why he’s vegetarian and he doesn’t wear clothes made from leather, as he wouldn’t want to be a handbag either

This actually sounds like something I'd listen to normally, I salute you Slovakia not only do you make great goats cheese Gnocci but you put decent songs in Eurovision!

The Bad & The Ugly:

The worst (Or best depending on how you look at it)...
San Marino
Valentina Monetta -The Social Network Song

Fun Fact: Valentina Monetta was singing on a Saturday night, and that same night, the SMtv director was there by chance. She listened to her, and really appreciated her. She was the perfect singer for the song they had already selected. On the Monday they organised an audition.

I just don't even know. It's just so weird. You must listen to the lyrics of this, it's what makes it so ridiculous; "Do you want to come to my house and click me with your mouse?" I mean it is a good idea writing something on social networks but they went so wrong on this! However it is perfect Eurovision, auto tune and everything...

Winner of the Cringeworthy category is...
Anmary - Beautiful Song

Fun Fact: Listen to the lyrics, she goes on about herself.

The cringeworthy factor is mainly in the video with it's oscar winning acting but the song itself is special too... Oh god the shuddering...

For the "WTF mate!"-factor:
Buranovskiye Babushki - Party for Everybody
Fun Fact: The eldest member of the group is 76 years old, 77 in the autumn.
I don't know whether I feel sorry for them or what. I was so hoping they were going to stick with some traditional Russian folk music. I was wrong.

Somebody call the police...
Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro

Fun Fact: Six years ago Rambo Amadeus was declared for the first ambassador of UNICEF in Montenegro. Lately he used his creativity and fame the best way he could in order to give his contribution to UNICEF’s initiative to create an environment without violence in schools. 

This is just bizarre on many, many levels. A man parading on a donkey telling us to "stop the pollution to save the kids of evolution." Mmm hmm...

Call for back-up!
Anri Jokhadze - I'm A Joker
Fun Fact:Anri Jokhadze is the first male Georgian singer ever to represent Georgia and he is famous and loved by the Georgian audience for his distinctive artistic talent and his powerful voice with a great range of no less than four octaves!

I feel violated.

For a classic example of a Eurovision entry:
Mandinga - Zaleilah

Fun fact: Mandinga consists of 7 members: Elena (lead vocals), Alex (trumpet), Chupi (drums), El Niño (congas), Omar (piano), Zach (saxophone) and Tony (trombone). Only six of them will sing on the stage in Baku, Tony being just their Green Room supporter.

Romania are definitely going with the boobs=points by using Romania's answer to Nicole Scherzinger writhing around in the sand skantily clad.

Some people should just never attempt rap...
Trackshittaz - Woki mit deim popo

Fun Fact: Trackshittaz are flagship examples of their unique genre - “tractor gangster party rap”. 

Not only does their name sound slightly rude but it sounds like they are shouting "Fuck him mit dem  popo" which sounds like some weird amalgamation of some bizaare English/German insult/innuendo.  Usually I love everything Austria does, but this is just weird, I would love to be able to make out what they are saying...

(All "Fun facts" taken from the website)

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